Christmas dinner, 2020
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The Early Hours of New Year's Day

Susie Fisher

"I don't have much knowledge yet in grief, so this massive darkness makes me small."

-Rainer Maria Rilke, 1904

I'm awake again at 3:00am

contemplating grief

--the time it takes,

the toll it takes--

the ways it is reinvigorated

at this strange hour

two winters on.

I move my feet over

to the cooler side of the bed, 

accidentally wake the cat,

sleeping where once

a tall, narrow body breathing.

I invite the agitated cat

under the covers;

scratch his orange head

and tent the blanket over both of us.

Sparks in the dark

--static electricity between my hand, his fur--

announce the arrival

of another year.